black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

Erma Bombeck

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Game Himself Legal Man
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Move Theory Yourself
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Family Funny Mom Myself Safety
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Courage Funny Inspirational Moments Parents White
If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK

Chance God Growth Life Magic Moments Myself Pregnant
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK

Give Up Guilty
Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Result Stop Work
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK

Kindess Night Oneself Parents Price
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECK

Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
ERMA BOMBECK

Fun Funny Mother Water Wrong
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Kill Work Yourself
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK

Act Children Forgiveness Love
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECK

Civilization Humor Loss
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Path Tough
Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECK

Animal Cat Invention Worth

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Erma Bombeck Quotes