“Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.”

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.

Every puppy should have a boy.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

There’s more to life than cheek bones.

Frequent the company of your betters.

Youth can only assert itself through the conviction that its ventures surpass all others and resemble nothing.

You look at me and see the girl,who lives inside the golden world,but don’t believe, that’s all there is to see,you’ll never know the real me.

I’ve always just worn bows. They just got bigger and better and sparklier – and then I became ‘JoJo with the bow bow,’ and it became a thing.

Fear is often described as False Evidence Appearing Real.

All too often, we spend our days waiting for the ideal path to appear in front of us. We forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.

When we try to look farther into the universe we come to what appears to be the end of space but actually it’s the beginning of time.