I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
JOAN RIVERSDon’t worry about the money. Love the process.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
-
-
Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.
JOAN RIVERS -
Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
JOAN RIVERS -
Old age is always ten years more than we are.
JOAN RIVERS -
I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’.
JOAN RIVERS -
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERS -
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS -
Life is so tough. I don’t know how old you are, but I’ve seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life is changed forever. We all know that. You better laugh at everything.
JOAN RIVERS -
Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
JOAN RIVERS -
Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
JOAN RIVERS -
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
JOAN RIVERS -
I’m racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson’s back when he was black.
JOAN RIVERS -
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”
JOAN RIVERS