Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKENPuritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H. L. MENCKENA man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKENIt is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. MENCKENLaws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
H. L. MENCKENThere are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
H. L. MENCKENThe ideal way to get rid of any infectious disease would be to shoot instantly every person who comes down with it.
H. L. MENCKENThe only thing wrong with Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address was that it was the South, not the North, that was fighting for a government of the people, by the people and for the people.
H. L. MENCKENFreedom of press is limited to those who own one.
H. L. MENCKENThe final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
H. L. MENCKENThe trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one’s time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
H. L. MENCKENChange is not progress.
H. L. MENCKENOnce a woman passes a certain point in intelligence she finds it almost impossible to get a husband: she simply cannot go on listening without snickering.
H. L. MENCKENUnder democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
H. L. MENCKENNo professional politician is ever actually in favor of public economy. It is his implacable enemy, and he knows it. All professional politicians are dedicated wholeheartedly to waste and corruption. They are the enemies of every decent man.
H. L. MENCKENEquality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
H. L. MENCKENThe common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
H. L. MENCKEN