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I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. FIELDS

Expectation Herself Life Man Woman Yourself
Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Believe
Children should neither be seen or heard from – ever again.
W. C. FIELDS

Children Hate See
If it does not work the first time, try, try again. Then quit. No need to be an idiot.
W. C. FIELDS

Need Quit Stupidity Time
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
W. C. FIELDS

Control Food Myself Strong
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.
W. C. FIELDS

Crazy Doubt Existence Woman
I don’t drink water. Have you seen the way it rusts pipes?
W. C. FIELDS

Destroy Myself See
I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know.
W. C. FIELDS

Funny Myself Time
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy
My illness is due to my doctor’s insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.
W. C. FIELDS

Doctor Force Myself
Comedy is a serious business. A serious business with only one purpose -to make people laugh.
W. C. FIELDS

Business Laugh Oneself People Purpose Serious
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Myself Perspective Sea
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. FIELDS

Man Money Poor Rich
Don’t worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.
W. C. FIELDS

Heart Live Worry Yourself
Never give a sucker an even break.
W. C. FIELDS

Break One Liner

I must have a drink of breakfast.

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I must have a drink of breakfast.

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