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I must have a drink of breakfast.

W. C. Fields

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
W. C. FIELDS

Improvement Myself
I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
W. C. FIELDS

Myself Religion Time
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.
W. C. FIELDS

Beautiful Herself Love Myself
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food
I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
W. C. FIELDS

Animal Food Myself See
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
W. C. FIELDS

Fools Inspirational Quit Success Yourself
Drat! Being the encapsulated view of life.
W. C. FIELDS

Life View
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. FIELDS

Food Myself Wine
I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
W. C. FIELDS

Advice Age Alcohol Authority Give Up Myself
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. FIELDS

Death Hope Life Lost
Was I in here last night and did I spend a $20 bill? Oh, thank goodness… I thought I’d lost it.
W. C. FIELDS

Goodness Lost Myself Night Thankful
Some people are born losers; others acquire the knack gradually.
W. C. FIELDS

Born Lose People
When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
W. C. FIELDS

Hands Life Yourself
I only drink to steady my nerves, sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.
W. C. FIELDS

Alcohol Myself
I never smoked a cigar in my life until I was nine.
W. C. FIELDS

Life Myself Young
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
W. C. FIELDS

Deep Reality Tragedy

I must have a drink of breakfast.

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I must have a drink of breakfast.

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