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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.

Tina Fey

I am going to dedicate myself, full time, to my day-drinking.
TINA FEY

Day Drinking Delicate Drinking Full Go Time
I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.
TINA FEY

Affinity Animal Cute Dog Hurt never
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
TINA FEY

Collector Country Funny Humor Penny People Person Pound Thousand Year
Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY

Adorable Baby Blame Creature Fart Humor
MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
TINA FEY

Accusatory Applies Class Constantly Eye Look Make Statement Voice Witty
For my first show at ‘SNL’, I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn’t getting any laughs.
TINA FEY

Bills Inspirational Laugh Laughing Real Show Sketch Thought
It was reported that the New York Knicks have won all 12 of the home games attended by magician David Blaine. A spokesman for the Knicks said, ‘if this is what it takes to win, it’s not worth it.’
TINA FEY

Attempt Celebrity Country Funny Hime Magical People Report Won
Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.
TINA FEY

Control Course Life Productive Saturday Sometimes Want Witty
Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
TINA FEY

Everybody Get Kind Person Prison
An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
TINA FEY

Country Funny Government Humor Include Interim Job Minister Set Whom Women
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
TINA FEY

Inspirational Mistake Opportunity Successful
Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss. Or they won’t. Who cares? Do your thing, and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

Inspiring Leadership Motivational
The arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
TINA FEY

Achieve Arm Athlete Closet Country Doll Made People Person President Scientist
A wise friend once told me, ‘Don’t wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what they wear.’
TINA FEY

Designer Fashion Tell Wear Wise
‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say.
TINA FEY

Accusatory All Ask Constant Dream Eye Job Juggle Look Mother People
I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yourself and going, ‘Yeah, I’m not cool enough for the West Village.’
TINA FEY

Accept Country Live Part Pick Think

I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.

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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.

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