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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.

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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEY

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I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
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Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
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I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
TINA FEY

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Not only is my wardrobe totally average, my body’s totally average. I love all the candy-fantasy fulfillment of Sex and the City.
TINA FEY

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In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
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I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.
TINA FEY

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So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: “Is this person in between me and what I want to do?”
TINA FEY

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Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
TINA FEY

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Whatever the problem – be part of the solution
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And I can see Russia from my house.
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Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
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According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
TINA FEY

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I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them.
TINA FEY

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Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
TINA FEY

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Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions… Do your thing and don’t care if they like it.
TINA FEY

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