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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.

Tina Fey

I feel like there is a lot of inherent humor in the stress and insanity surrounding that process.
TINA FEY

Children College Humour Insanity Proceed Stress Surround
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
TINA FEY

Consider Inexperience Job Politics Prostitution Uinexperience Virtue
Gravity”: “It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die then spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
TINA FEY

Age Attempt Decision Easier History Myself Space Stories
Just say yes and you’ll figure it out afterwards.
TINA FEY

Afterward Figures Hate Saying Yes
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
TINA FEY

Bomb Dog Feel Late Order Purchase Safer Sniff Too
Start with a ‘Yes’, and see where that takes you.
TINA FEY

See Start Take Yes You
In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.
TINA FEY

Asociation Country Funny High Humor Met National Official Rifle School Student
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
TINA FEY

Collector Country Funny Humor Penny People Person Pound Thousand Year
It was reported that Guy Ritchie has cast his wife Madonna in a small walk-on role in his new movie, Revolver. Madonna will play the part of the woman who ruins the film.
TINA FEY

Cast Celebrity Country Funny Guy Humor Movie Play Report Role Small Walk Wife Women
You can’t control things by being nervous.
TINA FEY

Being Control Nervous Thing
You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”
TINA FEY

Literally Mother Nose One Pull Transition
(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
TINA FEY

Cry Everyone never People Say Some Terrify
I can’t possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody’s business and I’ll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.
TINA FEY

Baby Business Nobody Poisble Regret Ruin Second Take Time Unless Do
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.
TINA FEY

Ability Acne Anxiety Chin Good Turn Witty
If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.
TINA FEY

Audience Cress Down Funny Humor Lady Laugh Like Man Men Old Push Start
You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.
TINA FEY

Funny Inspirational Impossible Strong Think Witty Woman

Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.

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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.

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