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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

Tina Fey

(Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.)
TINA FEY

Cry Everyone never People Say Some Terrify
When humor works, it works because it’s clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.
TINA FEY

Already Clarify Come Feel Humour People Real Someone Work Working
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
TINA FEY

Adjective Blorfit Excite Little Mean Mostly Stress Witty
You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.
TINA FEY

Advice Comedian Doing Learn Male Truth
You go through big chunks of time where you’re just thinking, ‘this is impossible – oh,this is impossible’. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.
TINA FEY

Humor Inspiring Parenting Problem Solution
Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea.
TINA FEY

Baby Book Down Husband Love Pick Pray Prejudice Pride Right
Life is improvisation.
TINA FEY

Improvisation Inspirational Life Is
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
TINA FEY

Back Bad Fan Pie Remember Think Thinking Weekend Well
What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn’t used to have to do that. But now I do.
TINA FEY

Fort Home Mean Need Pant Soon Take Turn Women
Every kid has something they’re good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward.
TINA FEY

Final Good Gravitate Kid Learning School Something Toward
You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.
TINA FEY

Humor People Smart Tell Witty
According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases than unmarried women. So don’t worry, lonely women, you’ll be dead soon.
TINA FEY

According Cardiovascular Develop Disease Funny Marriage Less Lonely Marriage Satisfying Study Women Worry
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
TINA FEY

Crazy Done Great Like Look Makeup Overcome Photoshop Witty
An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
TINA FEY

Acting Everything Motivation Moving Teacher Told Yes
Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
TINA FEY

Confidence Delusion Hard Hilarious Percent Ten Work

I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

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I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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