I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
TIM ALLENI’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN