I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLENI’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
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I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
TIM ALLEN