They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
TIM ALLENI’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
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I think there’s a percentage that don’t realize, that don’t know that [standup] is how everything began. We planned it, we work hard, rehearsals to get this. It’s more of a it’s not just coming in there in a T-shirt and holding a microphone.
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I have a thing for tools.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
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Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
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I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
TIM ALLEN