black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.

Tim Allen

While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy Decision Himself Judgement Sentence Serious Stand
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.
TIM ALLEN

Drink Money Oneself Party Rich Wealth
The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
TIM ALLEN

Advantage Beautiful Myself Play Reality Show Theatre
I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
TIM ALLEN

Consider Funny Phone Technology
Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.
TIM ALLEN

Goodness Lying Man Myself Positive
The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
TIM ALLEN

Best Busy Children Ego
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLEN

Depend History Point View
Be wary of listening to stories secondhand.
TIM ALLEN

Hands Listening Story
If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
TIM ALLEN

Control Decision Direction Journey Path Yourself
I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Creativity Design Graphics
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLEN

Funny Golf Lost Missing Play Sports Yourself
Before Kady was born, I didn’t think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time.
TIM ALLEN

Born Children Deal Myself Thinking Time
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
TIM ALLEN

Dangerous Floor Ground Himself Stick
Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.
TIM ALLEN

Death Dog Food Leaving
I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Age Children Myself Sadness
I have a thing for tools.
TIM ALLEN

Myself Tools

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Tim Allen Quotes