First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTINThe greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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Be so good they can’t ignore you.
STEVE MARTIN






