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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

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Beautiful Believe Money Myself Natural Sex

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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Book Funny Myself
There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Death Myself Thinking
I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Appearance Eat Exercise Funny Myself Right
You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Life Yourself
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
STEVE MARTIN

Doctor Funny Goodness Myself Sick
I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTIN

Animal Funny Goodness Important Laughter Learning Myself Sex
I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
STEVE MARTIN

Breathe Business Mistake Myself Worst
I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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Day Life Myself Past Present
Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Different Goodness Myself People Promise Talk Unique
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.
STEVE MARTIN

Harm Illusion Inspirational Learning Moments Myself
How many people have never raised their hand before?
STEVE MARTIN

Deep Hands People Question Voice

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