Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
RON WHITEI still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
More Ron White Quotes
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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I’ve gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we’re going to see if we can’t bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits.
RON WHITE