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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.

Ron White

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE

Chill Critical Keep Product Spaghetti
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE

Advice Friend Go Mine Show Solicite Talk
I do live like a rock star, but it’s not as great as it sounds. It’s a lot of traveling.
RON WHITE

Great Live Lot Rock Sound Star Travel
I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
RON WHITE

Lot Make Money Set Stand Up Ways
I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
RON WHITE

Hard Laugh Love Make People Serious Stage Still Take Walk Work
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE

Another Attention Brain Deficit Disability Disorder Information Learn Mean Odd Proces Quite Way
My goal is just to become a better comedian.
RON WHITE

Become Better Comedian Goal Just
Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
RON WHITE

Comedy Great No Overhead
I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
RON WHITE

Always Best Done Happen Little One Pony Stuff Trick
I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
RON WHITE

Act Anything Bothe R Desperate Joke Material Offend Work Write
You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
RON WHITE

Anymore Call Hear Joke Lose Mean People Pop Stage Start Tell Want
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
RON WHITE

Around Comfortable Laugh Listen Make Onstage Story Talk Tell Twenty Unable
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Come Earn Haunt Someone Time
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
RON WHITE

Actual Beer Diet Drink Fat Guy Real Scotch Tequila Year
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE

Always Been Century Comic More Other Play Quater Time
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE

Daughter Face Guy Hold Left Limb Month Smile Talk Though

It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.

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Popular Authors

It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Ron White Quotes