Somebody the other day had a review, called me ‘America’s reprobate.’ And I don’t even know what that means, but I kinda like the way it sounds.
RON WHITEDonald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
More Ron White Quotes
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable – onstage, talking, making ’em laugh and listen to the weirdest things. I liked being the center of attention.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that’s all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.
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