My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITEI’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
More Ron White Quotes
-
-
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE -
A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
RON WHITE -
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE -
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE -
You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
RON WHITE -
There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
RON WHITE -
My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
RON WHITE -
I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
RON WHITE -
You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
RON WHITE -
I don’t think we have a surplus of fine educators in this country that we can just start dropping them for no reason whatsoever.
RON WHITE -
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE -
I’m not willing to drag my fans down a road I don’t believe in. That’s just my one little principle. I’ve only got one, and that’s it.
RON WHITE -
I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
RON WHITE -
If I’m not in the theatre, I’m in an open mic night or doing a guest set at the Comedy Club, or whatever, just trying to develop stuff.
RON WHITE -
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE