Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITEI don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
More Ron White Quotes
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
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Anything I write that I consider stage-quality work, I won’t give my TV show. I put it in my live show.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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