Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
RON WHITEI don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
More Ron White Quotes
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That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
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I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
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I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE