I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITEWe always go out looking for live music after our shows.
More Ron White Quotes
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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The first thing I ever got my hands on was Andy Griffith’s ‘What It Was, Was Football.’ I was fascinated with the fact that every syllable made it funny, and I would laugh even though I didn’t know what any of it meant.
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But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It’s like anything else. It’s a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.
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It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
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I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
RON WHITE