I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITEIf I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
More Ron White Quotes
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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I would have rather been beat by a plumber than Kathy Griffin.
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I have a very fun life. I don’t recommend it for anybody else, but it sure has been fun for me.
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TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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Ultimately I’m the writer for me, but also, anytime one of my friends gets stuck with a bit, they can call me, and I’m pretty good at helping them get there.
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I’ve got a role in the new Billy Bob Thornton movie that Billy Bob wrote and is going to direct called ‘Jayne Mansfield’s Car.’ I only have four scenes, but I have as much dialogue as anybody in the movie.
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Pace, rhythm and timing. Pace, rhythm and timing is what it’s about. The content’s got to be great, but then it’s got to be delivered. It’s a tricky thing to do, and it takes a lot of work.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
RON WHITE