I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
RON WHITEThe Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
More Ron White Quotes
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I’m set up where I make a lot of money doing stand-up, and it’s easy.
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The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I had the right to remain silent… but I didn’t have the ability.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
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I was always a funny guy. I don’t think anybody that makes it to this level of stand-up wasn’t a funny guy when they were young.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
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I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE