The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITEI consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
More Ron White Quotes
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There have been times in my life that I’ve had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
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I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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Everybody I know is a joke writer.
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Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
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I think honest communication, no matter where it comes from, is positive for a relationship.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty… mine’s putting in an express lane.
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I was a comedy fan when I was a little kid.
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