I write all of my material. It’s all me.
RON WHITEThere’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
More Ron White Quotes
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
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There’s no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don’t exist.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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I always found that the closer I got to who I really am, on stage, the more they responded to it.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I didn’t get where I am today by worryin’ about how I’d feel tomorrow.
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I could do no wrong in my mother’s eyes from the day I was born. My fans bought her a very nice house in San Antonio, and she has a great life.
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I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
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