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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.

Ron White

My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE

Between Brain Colander Cross Leak Slow
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE

Achieve Any Back Come Earn Haunt Someone Time
I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
RON WHITE

Cigar Collection Go Great Imply Last Smoke
All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
RON WHITE

Best Comedian Friend Joke Some World Write
I’m definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won’t. Then three years later I will finally try it and it’ll kill them. I got to give them more credit.
RON WHITE

Audience Definite Funny Guilt Kill Later Something Them Think Try
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
It went from Bob Newhart to Flip Wilson to Bill Cosby to Richard Pryor to George Carlin to Cheech and Chong. I had all these records.
RON WHITE

All Record Country Flip Had People Went
I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE

Big Good Part Rather Really
I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
RON WHITE

Christian Clean Comedy Good Help Need Think World
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE

Advice Friend Go Mine Show Solicite Talk
I want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
RON WHITE

Able Any Fan Feel Like Touch Want
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
RON WHITE

Anything Believe Collaborative Creative Partner Some Someone Somewhat Stretch
Donald Trump – and I don’t dislike Donald one single bit – has no idea how good the Mexican people are at building tunnels.
RON WHITE

Bit Build Could Country Good Idea People President Single Tunnel
If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
RON WHITE

Any Back Become Famous Go Money Pay Show
The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
RON WHITE

Another Attention Brain Deficit Disability Disorder Information Learn Mean Odd Proces Quite Way

I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.

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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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