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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.

Ron White

Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
RON WHITE

Brother Come Later Number Operate Phone See Something
TV is a hard job. You work 15 hours a day. People tell you what to do. I hate to do it.
RON WHITE

Day Hard Hate Hour Job People Television Tell Work
My life has been wild enough to derive all of the stories you need out of it. I’ve been through many, many years of behavioral problems, so I don’t really look outside for stories.
RON WHITE

Behaviour Derive Enough Life Many Need Out Probably Problem Story Wild Year
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE

All Be Can Show Way
My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
RON WHITE

Beem Ever Good More Show Storytelling
I’ve been married a few times. I’m not good at it.
RON WHITE

Few Good Married Time
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE

Alcoholic Drink People Say Work Workaholic
I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
RON WHITE

Complicate Guarantee Ideas People Show Television Watch
I’ve got a great cigar collection – it’s actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn’t going to smoke every last one of ’em.
RON WHITE

Cigar Collection Go Great Imply Last Smoke
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
RON WHITE

Anything Believe Collaborative Creative Partner Some Someone Somewhat Stretch
I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
RON WHITE

Except Imagine Kep Life Listen Long People Plan Specific Talk
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I’d done for twelve years because I couldn’t throw ’em out.
RON WHITE

Album Done First Now Some Throw Out Twelve Year
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE

Biggest Cable Comedian Criticise Guy Other Peeve Pet
You can’t fix stupid.
RON WHITE

Fix Stupid
If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
RON WHITE

Come Country Down Gulf Joke Out Pollute Rite
There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITE

Class Forever Go Pill Stupid Take

A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.

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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.

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Popular Authors

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