My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITEThe way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
More Ron White Quotes
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I’m not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you’ll pay late.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
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There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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I always wanted to be a popular comedian.
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We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
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You can teach somebody how to be a brain surgeon, but you cannot teach them how to walk on a stage and make people laugh.
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If I sit down to write a joke about, whatever, the polluted Gulf of Mexico, it comes out mundane to me.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
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Movies are boring. It’s like watching paint dry. I did a little role in a movie, and it was eight lines. I was there for three days. It’s just horrible.
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A lot of people can find something to laugh at in my humor, I guess.
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Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
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