Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITEThe way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can’t even spell. I don’t even have a high school diploma. I’m smart, but you can’t prove it on paper.
More Ron White Quotes
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There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
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I don’t like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that’s the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don’t do a ton of it.
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Diamonds – that’ll shut her up… for a minute!
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
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I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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A killer Cuban restaurant with a giant cigar bar. Have me a Cuban sandwich. That’s just like heaven to me. I’m a simple man.
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I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
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I loved listening to laughter even as a little kid.
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My favorite bands are the Allman Brothers and Red Hot Chili Peppers.
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I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers – doesn’t matter if its something my wife hates.
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My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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