Funny Quotes

An assorted collection of quotes on Funny with high quality images that will help you to relate with the right words. Quotes are the rythmical creation of words. Download and share this collection of Funny quotes with your firiends, family and loved ones on social media platforms.

That’s the funny thing about America–the blessed thing. As many people as there are to hold you back, there are angels whose humanity makes up for all the others.
ABRAHAM VERGHESE

Angel Back Blessed Country Funny Hold People Thank You Thing
Life is good when you have a good sandwich.
KEANU REEVES

Food Funny Life Sandwich
My imagination will get me a passport to hell one day.
JOHN STEINBECK

Funny Hell Imagination Travel
You don’t love me, you just love my doggystyle.
SNOOP DOGG

Funny Love Myself Naked Relationship Sex Yourself
People might look at you a bit funny, but it’s okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different.
BOB ROSS

Allow Artist Different Funny People
Beer may cause you to digress and lead a happier life.
MICHAEL JACKSON

Alcohol Beer Funny Happiness Lead Life
All Moanday, Tearday, Wailsday, Thumpsday, Frightday, Shatterday.
JAMES JOYCE

Funny Sad
Ultimately, who you choose to be in a relationship with and what you do in your bedroom is your business.
EMINEM

Bedroom Business Choose Funny Relationship
The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don’t know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.
JOE ROGAN

Book Fantasy Funny Myself Time
I like meeting all my fans and signing autographs, although it can all get a bit crazy. Yesterday, for example, a boy just came over and planted a big kiss on my face! I was like, Hello?
BRITNEY SPEARS

Crazy Fans Funny Kiss Man Myself
On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
H. L. MENCKEN

Desire Funny Glory Greatness Heart
There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.
ROBERT FROST

Cook Food Funny Marriage Wife
Married, Married, Married! Buried! Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
KURT COBAIN

Funny Marriage
The difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.
ADAM SAVAGE

Difference Down Funny Science Screwing Writing
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.
JANE AUSTEN

Chance Funny Happiness Humour Marriage
The only thing strong about the French Army is their damn body odor.
DWAYNE JOHNSON

Army Funny Smell Strong
Animals are my friends and I don’t eat my friends.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Animal Eat Friendship Funny Humour Vegetarian
It’s funny when you coming in first but you hope that you’re last, you just hope that it last.
DRAKE

Confidence Funny Hope Hustle Success
I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.
MITCH HEDBERG

Animal Funny Humor People
There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend.
JACK NICHOLSON

Funny Girlfriend Lie Life People Police Sarcastic
You will find the key to success under the alarm clock.
BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

Alarm Clock Funny Humour One Liner Success
Fashion is made to become unfashionable.
COCO CHANEL

Fashion Funny Humour One Liner
Whenever you have an ex, and they’re like, ‘I hope we can still be friends!’ and you weren’t friends before you started dating, then what do you go back to, really?
ED SHEERAN

Ex Gitlfriend Friendship Funny Sarcastic
Off the liquor that’s when I’m the most honest.
POLO G

Alcohol Funny Honesty Liquor
If a man owes me money, I never seem to forget. But if I do the owing, I somehow never remember.
ARISTOPHANES

Debt Funny Men Money Owing
An affair now and then is good for a marriage. It adds spice, stops it from getting boring. I ought to know.
BETTE DAVIS

Adventure Cheat Funny Love Marriage
I find very often that very ugly women have really handsome men and vice versa because they don’t have any competition. Sometimes handsome men have avoided me.
HEDY LAMARR

Avoid Beautiful Funny Man Myself Relationship Woman

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