“The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don’t know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time.”

You can’t measure what’s inside a man’s heart. Quotes

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they’re my best friends.

The audience changes every night. You’re the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

One of the things that happened is I did a lot of shitty gigs. When you do a bunch of shitty bar gigs you have to get used to people yelling at you, you’re used to thinking on the fly, to dealing with weird situations.

Kindness is one of the best gifts you can bestow, We know that inherently that feels great.

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.

I’ve been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there’s ever anybody that I can inspire, to me that’s a huge gift. To be able to turn that back around.

The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers.

Haters are all failures. It’s 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

We’re constantly re-evaluating the potential for life. We’re finding it where we didn’t think it could exist, such as volcanic vents and other extreme conditions like under arctic ice. We’re finding life in these incredibly harsh and dynamic conditions, so we’re having to re-evaluate our own ideas of what’s possible on this planet alone.

Reality really is a theatre. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.

Greatness and madness are next door neighbors and they often borrow each other’s sugar.

I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.

Not all comedy clubs or situations are ideal, especially when you’re first coming up and I think that’s good for you. Eventually, you get to express your real personality.

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep moving. Before you know it, you look back and think, ‘What was that?’

I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity.

A book, a book full of human touches, of shirts, a book without loneliness, with men and tools, a book is victory.

The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.

Ordinary people simply don’t know what books mean to us, shut up here. Reading, learning, and the radio are our amusements.

Read. Travel. Read. Ask. Read. Learn. Read. Connect. Read.

Open books, not legs. Blow minds, not guys.

I read books and talked to people. I mean that’s kind of how one learns anything. There’s lots of great books out there & lots of smart people.

A library is a place where you can live a thousand lives. So why are you waiting when you could be living? Visit your library today.