“Never stay in a bad marriage, and don’t hang around with psycho coke fiends.”

I want to make sure that everything that I’m creating, I’m creating it so other people get enjoyment out of it. And that’s the reward that you get for that.

The people I know that have the hardest time keeping it together emotionally are people that don’t workout.

Once you understand what excellence is all about, you see how excellence manifests itself in any discipline.

Life is strange. You keep moving and keep moving. Before you know it, you look back and think, ‘What was that?

Having the privilege of sitting down and having 3 hour long uninterrupted conversations with hundreds of brilliant people is an awesome perspective enhancer. Quotes

You can’t measure what’s inside a man’s heart. Quotes

My act is so completely and totally uncensored that the only way I could really pull it off is if I treat the audience like they’re my best friends.

The audience changes every night. You’re the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.

One of the things that happened is I did a lot of shitty gigs. When you do a bunch of shitty bar gigs you have to get used to people yelling at you, you’re used to thinking on the fly, to dealing with weird situations.

Kindness is one of the best gifts you can bestow, We know that inherently that feels great.

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.

By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.

I’ve been inspired by a shitload of people in my life so if there’s ever anybody that I can inspire, to me that’s a huge gift. To be able to turn that back around.

The mind is the most important thing of the big picture and no one has a stronger mindset than amateur wrestlers.

Haters are all failures. It’s 100% across the board. No one who is truly brilliant at anything is a hater.

We’re constantly re-evaluating the potential for life. We’re finding it where we didn’t think it could exist, such as volcanic vents and other extreme conditions like under arctic ice. We’re finding life in these incredibly harsh and dynamic conditions, so we’re having to re-evaluate our own ideas of what’s possible on this planet alone.

Everyone has a right to bear arms. If you take guns away from legal gun owners, then the only people who have guns are the bad guys.

No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.

I don’t think human beings are bad. They’re weak. And that’s what makes ’em bad.

Working people have alot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work.

It was at a vividly bad time in Norman Mailer’s life that I met him, and a sort of water-treading time in mine. He had stabbed his wife, and I was a copy boy at Time magazine.

All I want for christmas is your warmth, near the firing woods. Cuddling on the chair, swinging in merry times, forgetting our bad lies.

I had my first kiss when I was 11, but I think I’ve blocked it out of my mind because it was so bad. I’m not even sure it counts as a kiss.

Sin doesn’t make you bad, it makes you dead.