Steve Martin Quotes

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.

I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.