Al Franken Quotes

Whining is anger through a small opening.

Having an actual income can expand your romantic horizons toward the more appealing end of the spectrum.

The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had.

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

If you look at terrorists, they really have no sense of humor.

My dad was a terrible businessman.

Bill Clinton is the greatest president of the 20th century because I played touch football with him.

I know that it’s probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or a politician.

I don’t know what happens to you after you die. I’m not banking on there being, like, a heaven.

Progressives, in a way, are the new conservatives. We want to conserve what we fought to build.