Al Franken Quotes

My dad always told me to stand up to bullies, and Bill O’Reilly is kind of a bully, and he’s the kind of kid who hits other kids on the playground.

I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation.

I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing.

I’m crushed by the responsibility of writing a satirical book.

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

I’ve spent my entire career being a satirist.

To ask whether the mainstream media has a conservative or liberal bias is like asking whether al-Qaida uses too much oil in their hummus. It’s – I think they might use too much oil in their hummus – but it’s the wrong question.

When a company is able to establish a dominant market position, consumers lose meaningful choices.

Oh, no, you’re kidding.’ I go, ‘No, I’m really honest.’

This is something I learned only too well years ago when I did a fundraiser for Pol Pot. A few years later I saw ‘The Killing Fields,’ and I’ve got to tell you, I just felt like a schmuck.