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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

P. J. O'Rourke

The importance of local governance may not be obvious to an America accustomed to treating city and state downfalls with doses of federal comeuppance. Sometimes there’s a reason for that – the Civil War. More often, all reasoning seems absent – No Child Left Behind.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Behind Civil Downfall Government Importance Local State Treat War
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adept Avoid Even Learn More Young
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Adult Deal Great Health Mind Other Slow Spoil Turn Word Young
You can’t destroy America by destroying our elite. Think about America’s elite. Think about it down through history. Destroy our elite, and about half the time, you’re doing us a favor.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Detroit Down Elite History Think
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
P. J. O'ROURKE

Administration Attack Country Gun Hell Nut President Religious
Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Enough Jail Limit Need Term
Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cash Change Climate Climatologist Matter Maybe Research Threat Troll
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait ’til it’s free.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Care Expensive Free Health Now Think Wait
If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ask Children Clean Cook Down Government Hold Problem Solve
Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Best Bought Guy Happen Journalism People Person Popular Thing Wonderful
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Horizon Many Toledo Tree
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Favor Invasion Mush
Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Free Nokia Phone Plywood Rich
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Black Church Classical English People Preach Scheme Speak Troop
It’s better to make fun of yourself because you’ve always got someone around to make fun of, and they can’t sue you.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Always Better Fun Make Someone Sure You
Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Belt Cigarette Government Hazard Helth Kill Many More People Set

Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.

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