The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
P. J. O'ROURKELiberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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