In estimating the adversities of life, we would seldom have much reason to complain of the evils we suffer, did we understand the dangers we daily escape.
NORM MACDONALDI generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.
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I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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We often suffer more from our fears, than from the dangers of our situation.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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The beginning of wisdom is the knowledge of folly.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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Though we may not desire to detect fraud, we must not, on that account, endeavor to be insensible of it, for, as cunning is a crime, so is duplicity a fault, and if men dread knaves, they also despise fools.
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When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that’s a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.
NORM MACDONALD






