I don’t have any ambition.
NORM MACDONALDI generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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It is necessary to be tolerant, in order to be tolerated.
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I’m thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.
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The reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
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I generally have a real strong idea or a strong punchline, and I just try to get to it by rambling around, as I don’t like to memorize words.
NORM MACDONALD -
A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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Ever see this? It’s a homeless guy but he’s got a dog… The dog’s really thrilled with this idea. The dog’s going, Hey pal, I can do this by myself pretty well. The longest walk in the world you got me on here.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
NORM MACDONALD