Scientists believe they may have discovered a primitive form of life on Jupiter’s moon Europa. That primitive form of life? You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
NORM MACDONALDThe reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I want you to buy this pit bull. This will protect your valuables.’ I don’t own anything very valuable. If I buy the pit bull, that would be the most valuable thing I own. I’d have to buy something to protect it then.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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Some people are so much afraid of being deceived, that they never venture to trust; like misers, their avarice destroys their gain.
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Flattery succeeds best on minds previously occupied by conceit.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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I don’t really like politics that much. And I like the order and simplicity of sports. They have an ending. You can argue with your friends about it, but in the end you still like sports. I almost love the fantasy world of sports more than the real world.
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Reason is always weak where prejudice is strong.
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Imprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
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I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.
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Comedy is surprises, so if you’re intending to make somebody laugh and they don’t laugh, that’s funny.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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It is vain to complain of fortune while we fail in policy and conduct.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
NORM MACDONALD






