I don’t care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.
NORM MACDONALDThe reason we have few friends in adversity, is, because we have no true ones in prosperity.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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Few people love with the violence they hate.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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I got my computer. The great thing about the computer is that you only need enough money to buy a computer and some food, and you’re all right. I don’t have to go to premières.
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If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.
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Most men will go farther to give advice than to follow their own opinion.
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You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don’t care for him.
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Ignorance is better than knowledge misapplied.
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During misfortunes, nothing aggravates our condition more, than to be esteemed deserving of them.
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Chastity is oftener owing to diffidence and shame, than to fortitude of reason or virtue.
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When people told the audience that [Sam Kinison] was good, he was accepted after that.
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A readiness to excuse some faults, shows a disposition to commit others.
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This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
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Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.
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In love, we are best pleased when we please others.
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The most frequent cause of regret for what we have done is because its effects interfere with what we would do.
NORM MACDONALD