When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
LILY TOMLINI guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
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There’s so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
LILY TOMLIN