black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.

Lily Tomlin

Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
LILY TOMLIN

Difference Integrity Myself Past Truth
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Laughter Smart Survive Work
I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
LILY TOMLIN

Culture Expression Myself Social Type
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
LILY TOMLIN

Form Intelligence Life Universe Yourself
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Cry Feeling Happiness Laughter Price Sad
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
LILY TOMLIN

Down Fast relief Slow Try
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
LILY TOMLIN

Expectation Philosophy Yourself
I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
LILY TOMLIN

Children Dirty Myself Revolution Sex Worry
Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLIN

Deep God Hypocrisy Prayer Talk
You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
LILY TOMLIN

Big Confusion Deep Direction Expectation Leaving Right Understand Way
What if it’s boring – or if it’s not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
LILY TOMLIN

Boredom Hide Reveal Worst
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN

Alone One Liner Remember

I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Lily Tomlin Quotes