We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLINIt’s a more ridiculing, divisive humor today.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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The road to success is always under construction.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?
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There will be sex after death, we just won’t be able to feel it.
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What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
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Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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Truth is, I’ve always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN