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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!

Lily Tomlin

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLIN

Believe Freedom Hands Man Reason Sex Walk
What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
LILY TOMLIN

Expectation Philosophy Yourself
Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
LILY TOMLIN

Death Laughter Smart Survive Work
My politics are just inclined to be empathetic and humanistic. I grew up with so many different kinds of people with different politics, different religion, no religion, no politics, education, no education, and I was infatuated with all of them.
LILY TOMLIN

Education Empathy Growth Human Kind Myself Politics Religion
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
LILY TOMLIN

Complain Invention Language Man Satisfaction
You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
LILY TOMLIN

Fear Thinking Yourself
To me, “sexual freedom” means freedom from having to have sex.
LILY TOMLIN

Freedom Myself Sex Willing
I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN

Myself People Profit Thinking War
When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
LILY TOMLIN

Failure Humor Myself People Talk Yourself
What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN

Audience Brain Knowledge Myself Praise Thinking
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
LILY TOMLIN

Leadership Reality Touch
When I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
LILY TOMLIN

Better Cry Feeling Happiness Laughter Price Sad
Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
LILY TOMLIN

Feeling Mindset Yourself
The road to success is always under construction.
LILY TOMLIN

Construction Inspirational Road Success
Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
LILY TOMLIN

Place Sorry Yourself
I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
LILY TOMLIN

Children Dirty Myself Revolution Sex Worry

When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!

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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!

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Popular Authors

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