After all, in private, we’re all misfits.
LILY TOMLINWhy is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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The best mind-altering drug is the truth.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.
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Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It’s the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
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I guess if people couldn’t profit from war I don’t think there would be war.
LILY TOMLIN