If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLINWhat I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
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Did you know, throughout the cosmos they found intelligent life forms that play to play? We are the only ones that play to win. Explains why we have more than our share of losers.
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Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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I still believe that sex is dirty. It’s just that now I wouldn’t have it any other way.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
LILY TOMLIN