Every day I read the newspapers, and no matter how cynical I get, it’s imposssible to keep up.
LILY TOMLINWhat I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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When we speak to God, we call it prayer; when God speaks back, we call it psychosis!
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I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up something else.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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I try to be cynical, but it’s so hard to keep up.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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Well, if I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I thought.
LILY TOMLIN