Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?
LILY TOMLINSometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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Did you know, in the entire universe, we are the only intelligent life forms thought to have a Miss Universe contest?
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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We are all in this together, by ourselves.
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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.
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When I’ve had a meltdown, people will say to me, “Well, you failed to keep your sense of humor.”
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
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The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year-everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth.
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I worry about kids today – because of the sexual revolution, they’re going to grow up and never know what “dirty” means.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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What goes up must come down. But don’t expect it to come down where you can find it.
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Remember we’re all in this alone.
LILY TOMLIN






