We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
LILY TOMLINWhen I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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If life is so meaningless, then why are we always bringing it up?
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Creating characters is just another way to express a type and put that type to use.
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Don’t be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
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The road to success is always under construction.
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There’s nothing sadder than getting to the end of your life and saying, ‘I didn’t do it right’.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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People hire me to create some kind of archetype or some culture type, or something. I guess they accept whatever I come up with.
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Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
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If you can’t be direct, why be?
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
LILY TOMLIN