If you can’t be direct, why be?
LILY TOMLINWhen I am happy I feel like crying, but when I am sad I don’t feel like laughing. I think it is better to be happy; then you get two feelings for the price of one.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
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You are what you think, geez, that’s frightening.
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If you have a dog or a cat, you know how developed they can be. How sensitive, how aware. They suffer. We all do.
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If trying harder doesn’t work, try softer.
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I was always drawn to more the social-expression-of-culture types.
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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Maybe if people started to listen, history would stop repeating itself.
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I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
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You can’t expect insights, even the big ones, to make you suddenly understand everything. But I figure: Hey it’s a step in the right direction if they leave you confused in a deeper way.
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Even when I’m being funny, I’m deadly serious.
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Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that’s the truth.
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If beauty is truth, why don’t women go to the library to have their hair done?
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Language was invented because of the deep human need to complain.
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What I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
LILY TOMLIN