I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
JOAN RIVERSI knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.
JOAN RIVERS -
I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
JOAN RIVERS -
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
JOAN RIVERS -
When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now…once he opened the car door for me in the last four years – we were on the freeway at the time.
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
JOAN RIVERS -
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS -
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERS -
Better laid than never.
JOAN RIVERS -
A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.”
JOAN RIVERS -
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”
JOAN RIVERS -
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS -
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it…Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
JOAN RIVERS -
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.
JOAN RIVERS -
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
JOAN RIVERS