We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.
JOAN RIVERSI was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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You know it’s time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn’t wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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If you can’t make fun of yourself, you don’t have any right to make fun of others.
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I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ‘Get the hell off my property.’
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I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
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Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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There are many self-help books by Ph.D.s, but I hold a different degree: an I.B.T.I.A.-I’ve Been Through It All. This degree comes not on parchment but gauze, and it entitles me to tell you that there is a way to get through any misfortune.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERS