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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.

Joan Rivers

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
JOAN RIVERS

Fools Laughter Yourself
Money can’t buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS

Happiness Money Pay Yourself
When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn’t wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
JOAN RIVERS

Change Decision Himself Husband Marriage Mindset Myself
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
JOAN RIVERS

Appearance Funny Myself
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Happiness Key Life Money People
I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
JOAN RIVERS

Alone Company Myself
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
JOAN RIVERS

Defeat Herself Myself Win
Elizabeth Taylor’s so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
JOAN RIVERS

Appearance Body Fat Food Medicine
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say ‘My wife makes a delicious cake’ to some hooker?
JOAN RIVERS

Cook Food Man Marriage Responsibility Sex Woman
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
JOAN RIVERS

Daughter Down And Mother
If you can’t make fun of yourself, you don’t have any right to make fun of others.
JOAN RIVERS

Fun Right Yourself
Here’s a Thanksgiving tip. Generally, your turkey is not cooked enough if it passes you the cranberry sauce.
JOAN RIVERS

Enough Thankful Yourself
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, “Marry him, you’ll double your wardrobe.”
JOAN RIVERS

Date Fashion Marriage Mom Myself
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
JOAN RIVERS

Body Memories Myself Women
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
JOAN RIVERS

Enjoyment Fast Funny Life
She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
JOAN RIVERS

Funny Herself Stupidity Understand War World

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.

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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don’t care if it’s good things or bad things. That means you’re alive.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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