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You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.

Henry Cloud

Marriage is not slavery. It is based on a love relationship deeply rooted in freedom. Each partner is free from the other and therefore free to love the other. Where there is control, or perception of control, there is not love. Love only exists where there is freedom.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Freedom Love Marriage Partner Relationship Slave
A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word ‘no.’ Love respects ‘no,’ control does not.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Goodness Person Reaction Relationship Respond Test
Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
HENRY CLOUD

Endurance Goodness Growth Pain Resistance
Dont use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and dont worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse.
HENRY CLOUD

Day Horse Important Mess Thinking
Christianity is not about morality. It’s about reality.
HENRY CLOUD

Morals Reality Religious
When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform, sends fuel to the brain.
HENRY CLOUD

Brain Change Encourage Performance Yourself
The mature person meets the demands of life, while the immature person demands that life meet her demands.
HENRY CLOUD

Demand Life Mature Person
Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.
HENRY CLOUD

Break Up Date Value Worth
People tend to look at dating sort of like a safari – like they’re trying to land the trophy.
HENRY CLOUD

Award Date People Perspective Relationship
You aren’t alive if you aren’t in need.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
The business of church is ultimately people. You’re trying to heal people, grow people, teach people, and mend people. And when leaders spend all of their time helping and growing other people, they ignore their own growth.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
HENRY CLOUD

Date People Place Practice
In a very real way, ownership is the essence of leadership. When you are ridiculously in charge, then you own whatever happens in a company, school.
HENRY CLOUD

Company Essence Leadership Reality School Way
Independence is not an option for us. Remember, God existed without us.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.
HENRY CLOUD

Existence Freedom Love Operation Responsibility
Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
I’m not an expert in the sociological realities of all the pastors in the world, but I would say that there are some very, very positive things about the state of integrity in church leaders.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Boundaries are basically about providing structure, and structure is essential in building anything that thrives.
HENRY CLOUD

Boundary Essential Structure Thrive
One of the worst things you can die with is potential.
HENRY CLOUD

Death Oneself Potential Worst
The opposite of bad is not good.The opposite of bad is love
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
You will not grow without attempting to do things you are unable to do.
HENRY CLOUD

Attempt Growth Yourself
Things don’t change in a marriage until the spouse who is taking responsibility for a problem that is not hers decides to say or do something about it.
HENRY CLOUD

Change Decision Marriage Responsibility
The sad thing is that many of us come to Christ because we are sinners, and then spend the rest of our lives trying to pretend that we are not!
HENRY CLOUD

Live Ourselves Pretend Sadness Sin
To grow, we need things that we do not have and cannot provide, and we need to have a source of those things who looks favorably upon us and who does things for us for our own good.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.
HENRY CLOUD

Angry Control Fact Frustration Ourselves Reality
Dating is a give and take. If you only see it as “Taking,” you are not getting it.
HENRY CLOUD

Date Equality Yourself

You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.

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You have to be able to face losing some things you might want in order to be free to do the right thing.

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