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There’s no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.

Henry Cloud

Good pain is pain in the service of a purpose. Bad pain is pain endured because we are resisting a needed growth step.
HENRY CLOUD

Endurance Goodness Growth Pain Resistance
For someone’s character to grow, it has to be free from internal attack. Falling down never stopped children from developing. But getting yelled at, criticized, and put down can stop them for life.
HENRY CLOUD

Character Children Criticism Freedom Growth Life Stop
Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Dont use all-or-nothing thinking. Take each day as its own day, and dont worry about it if you mess up one day. The most important thing you can do is just get back up on the horse.
HENRY CLOUD

Day Horse Important Mess Thinking
A culture is like an immune system. It operates through the laws of systems, just like a body. If a body has an infection, the immune system deals with it. Similarly, a group enforces its norms, either actively or passively.
HENRY CLOUD

Active Culture Group Immunity Infection System
Values are sometimes worth living and dying for, and are certainly worth dating and breaking up over.
HENRY CLOUD

Break Up Date Value Worth
A good test of a relationship is how a person responds to the word ‘no.’ Love respects ‘no,’ control does not.
HENRY CLOUD

Control Goodness Person Reaction Relationship Respond Test
The amount of truth a relationship can handle is proportional to the amount of perceived love that’s present.
HENRY CLOUD

Amount Love Present Relationship Truth
Who a person is will ultimately determine if their brains, talents, competencies, energy, effort, deal-making abilities, and opportunities will succeed.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Some goals are not going to fulfill you. Choose goals that you value and care about.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
If you want to become healthy, you have to surround yourself with a group of people that are getting healthy and you have to be connected to a community that is doing what you want to do.
HENRY CLOUD

Community Group Health People Surround Yourself
Anger is frustration at the fact that we are not God, and do not have control over reality.
HENRY CLOUD

Angry Control Fact Frustration Ourselves Reality
There is a difference between solitude and isolation. One is connected and one isn’t. Solitude replenishes, isolation diminishes.
HENRY CLOUD

Anand Thakur
Dating is about finding out who you are and who others are. If you show up in a masquerade outfit, neither is going to happen.
HENRY CLOUD

Date Discover Finding Yourself
If people are really narcissistic or have a need to be seen as more than they really are, or to be admired as having it all together, then they cannot be followed and trusted by others.
HENRY CLOUD

Follow Narcissism People Togetherness Trust
Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children’s most primitive fears.
HENRY CLOUD

Children Fear Leave Pride Reaction Yourself

There’s no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.

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There’s no better way to become a disintegrated character than to be your own authority.

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