A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
H. L. MENCKENThe theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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There are two kinds of Europeans: The smart ones, and those who stayed behind.
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The best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
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It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.
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The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived.
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
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Free speech is too dangerous to a democracy to be permitted.
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You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Change is not progress.
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
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The kind of man who demands that government enforce his ideas is always the kind whose ideas are idiotic.
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Sometimes the idiots outvote the sensible people.
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The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself.
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Journalism is to politician as dog is to lamp-post.
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Always remember this: If you don’t attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.
H. L. MENCKEN