If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
FRAN LEBOWITZNever relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ