Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
ERMA BOMBECKIf you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK