Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECKGuilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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He who laughs lasts.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK