Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
ERMA BOMBECKI’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You’re on your own, Bernice.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK