Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECKI’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
ERMA BOMBECK